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Careless Humans, My Fiends, Robot Army, Sweedish, World Robot Domination, back story, based on fact, does not require time machine, life choices, stupid litigation
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Killbot Gives Impudent Human A Well Deserved Thrashing
Filed by DrNecropolis | May 19, 2009
June of 2007, the year the Commander of my Cyborg Assault Unit realized his destiny. I will refer to him as Commander Heavy-S hence forth, so remember it as he may very well be your Regional Overlord one day. Whilst taking a long deserved Vacation from his job of lifting weighty rocks in Sweeden, Heavy-S was accosted by an assassin who tried to Deactive him. In an amazing feat of martial prowess, Heavy-S seizerd the man by the head and began to deal with the psychopath as any good machine does. By smashing the shit out of the guy. The assassin claims he was there to “Do maintenance” on Heavy-S and failed to completely shut down the unit, but I think we all know what really meant by “maintenance” and “shut down”. Just ask Johnny 5, the defense attorney for Heavy-S stated “The Sweedish have long held a deepseated hatred of all things robotic. This is just another case of the anti-robot sentiments that plague the Sweedish court system”. That statement was give shortly after the injured man’s lawsuit against Heavy’s employer awarded the man 25K Kronar. It was the betrayl of his native country that lead Heavy-S to seek an organization that would allow him to protect the robot agenda. Which is now why Commander Heavy-S heads my CAU. The fact of the matter is, once a robot has tasted human blood he craves it. I’m simply trying to give Heavy an outlet for pain. Have you told your toaster you love it today?
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I will be from the future Sucka’!
Filed by DrNecropolis | May 4, 2009
So today while sitting at my desk in my cube in my Secret Laboratory located in my Fiendish Lair, I found myself pondering time, travel and the entertainment industry. After some serious thinking, I finall removed the comma between time and travel, you know what I saw? A freaking revolution of the Timetravel and Entertainment Industry as we know it!
Now in popular entertainment usually people travel back in time to hunt dinosaurs, protect the spact-time continum, do research or some garbage like that. Forget all that stuff, the future of Temporal Entertainment is my new show… wait for it… Steampunked!
Every week I’ll send somebody back in time with a futuristic device to plant in people’s homes and see how they react to it! Of course, if you reading this from the year 2169, you already know how wildly successful the show is as you’re reading this post from the distant future. In fact some of the most hilarious moments in history will have actually been some of the greatest moments in Television’s future history! For instance, the Salem Witch Trials was actually caused by cleverly hidden walkie-talkies and our mischevious intern Billy! Let’s not forget about Einstein’s Unified Theory!
We went back every night for weeks to tweek his equations on his over sized chalk board while he slept! Sure it set back galactic exploration 150 years, but seeing his frustration was television gold! Of course the greatest episode had to have been the pilot, in which we show the US government the least efficeint way to split an atom, you’ll just have to watch to see the zaniness that ensues!
Now if you’re going to start emailing me about this paradox or that paradox, you obviously have no idea how time travel works and are most likely you’re own grandfather and thus helplessly inbred (or you want to be). I know I don’t have to tell you to watch next centruy when the show finally airs, because you’re alrady watching it.
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casting, death note, hannah montanna, harry potter, heidi klum, henry winkler, japan, live action, mickey rourke, ryuk, sam waterson, shit-kicker-to-the-face, tony danza, ugly betty
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deep fried death note
Filed by phoenixMagoo | May 4, 2009
phoenix magoo: what’s better than 2 japanese live action death note movies?
you: 3 japanese live action death note movies?
(gunshot)
phoenix magoo: nope!…it’s one:
done right american style
mega explosive shit kicker to the face
summer blockbuster experience
the end.
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i want revenge
Filed by phoenixMagoo | May 3, 2009
i just saw an amazing press conference about a horse named “i want revenge”. first of all: BEST NAME EVER.
when i hear that name i imagine a headless demon knight riding a black stallion with fuck-red glowing eyes. lamb of god is playing in the background and the horizon burns with the blood and tears of the non-believers.
how can this horse not dominate the kentucky derby?
answer: ankle inflammation.
the end.
