Phoenix Magoo

encores are worthless

Filed by phoenixMagoo  |  July 31, 2009

Why do bands even pretend that the “last song” is really the last song? I have been to a number of concerts and just about every band will say the same thing, “This is our last song. Thanks for coming. Goodnight.”

They finish their jam and start running off stage. I don’t know, maybe someone in the band is feeling saucy and decides to throw a bottle of water into the crowd. Not a full water bottle…not an empty water bottle…but just enough for a few people to get wet.

Holy cow shit!! Did the drummer just throw his sticks into the crowd??

Guess what dumb teenager…that drummer will probably be working retail, dead or driving a truck by the time you go to college.

Anyways…Then the lights don’t turn on and no one leaves. The band comes back and will probably play something off of their first album and then some cover or some other bullshit.

When you say a show is over, how bout it be over. If you really want to nail out two more songs, then fucking play the two songs without the first dramatic exit.

We won’t hold it against you.

MADD nerds (zing!) (updated after coffee)

Filed by phoenixMagoo  |  July 15, 2009

i always thought madd was a solid, good intentioned, advocacy group. plus they always hand out rad pens and stress balls at any college or high school event. however, my opinion has now changed, check out this bullshit:

MADD feels that “The combination of a roadway and advertising for any kind of a beer doesn’t make any kind of sense.”  [Source: Autoblog]

let’s say you are from a small town in ohio with a micro brew that names a beer after the exit number for your town. the exit number for you town is 81-A. you move to washington state, and are shopping in a whole foods. you see a label that says 81-Ale over a background image of the state of ohio. why wouldn’t you buy the beer? maybe you were beat up in high school, idk.

another example. in the metro dc area there is a micro brew named capital city. my favorite beer at capital city is “pale rider ale” and the motto for the beer is “hell on wheels.”  i think that is about 10x worse than the jersey turnpike brew mentioned in the autoblog article cited earlier.  AND! it’s also a mega tasty beer.

basically, if the branding and motto didn’t help sell the beer, then the name of the beer would of obviously been changed by now.

so MADD, a combination of a roadway (even driving) and advertising sell beer, and a business selling a product makes sense.

the end.

would i eat a panda?

Filed by phoenixMagoo  |  July 10, 2009

the short answer is only hell yes. i didn’t kill the panda.

if said panda is already dead, tenderized, marinated in the finest earth juices, grilled to perfection (btw, grilled to perfection panda is slightly pink in the middle) and put in front of me, then i am going to eat it.

and since said panda is already dead, it wouldn’t really hurt if i had real panda slippers, real panda gloves, and of course a real panda mask.