Phoenix Magoo

Fanboy Science: A Unied Theory of Superman’s Powers

Filed by mysteryGuy  |  September 30, 2009

This is a great day for fanboy science. Finally, a simple explanation for all of Superman’s powers has been written, all scienticific-like. From today’s Dinosaur Comics:

My friend Ben Tippett has been thinking about Superman’s powers from a physics perspective, and came up with a theory that all of his myriad powers: flight, x-ray vision, super hearing, cold breath, heat vision, lifting buildings over his head, catching Lois without breaking all her bones, etc, can be explained as manifestations of one power: the ability to manipulate the inertia of matter, both his own and matter that he comes in contact with. I’ve never heard such a simple Grand Unifying Theory of Superman’s powers before, so I convinced him to whip it up into a quick Scientific Paper Format, and here it is! AWESOME. Thanks Ben!

It’s genius. There’s even hand-drawn diagams!

Even SPAM hates spam!

Filed by DrNecropolis  |  September 8, 2009

Though it may seem like a no brainer even SPAM hates spam.  Doubly so since spam detracts from the good name of SPAM (though I guess “good” is up for debate).  Anywho, take a read over here

See, told ya’!  I guess I have to side with SPAM here, we need a new term for spam, I say we go with “Bullshit fake ass e-mails”

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I Sell The Dead (No, that’s not my part-time job…yet)

Filed by DrNecropolis  |  September 3, 2009

Never trust a corpse… The tag line for Glass Eye Pix stunning flick I Sell The Dead, is what slapped me in the face to check out this movie.  Arthur Blake(Dominic Monaghan, Lost) and Willie Grimes(Larry Fessenden also the Producer, Mulberry Street) are professional Grave-robbers who’ve been caught and sentenced to beheading.  On the night prior to Arthur’s execution, he is visited by Father Duffy(Ron Perlman, Hellboy/Chronicles of Riddick/ Many more awesome ass movies) to take his confession.  With the application of a bit o’ whiskey, we soon learn that Arthur’s carrear as a grave robber began at a young age and through the years his profession has led him to many a bizzare encounter.  From Zombies and Vampires to Aliens and Revenge, this movie has just about everything I look for in a great flick.  Due to the theme, one would think that this would be a dark journey through the lives our protagonists, but in actuality it’s a hilarious adventure of the first degree.  I give it 5 out of 5 Zombie Apocalypses, you need to see this film!…You will see this film…

Killbot Gives Impudent Human A Well Deserved Thrashing

Filed by DrNecropolis  |  May 19, 2009

June of 2007, the year the Commander of my Cyborg Assault Unit realized his destiny.  I will refer to him as Commander Heavy-S hence forth, so remember it as he may very well be your Regional Overlord one day.  Whilst taking a long deserved Vacation from his job of lifting weighty rocks in Sweeden, Heavy-S was accosted by an assassin who tried to Deactive him.  In an amazing feat of martial prowess, Heavy-S seizerd the man by the head and began to deal with the psychopath as any good machine does.  By smashing the shit out of the guy.  The assassin claims he was there to “Do maintenance” on Heavy-S and failed to completely shut down the unit, but I think we all know what really meant by “maintenance” and “shut down”.  Just ask Johnny 5, the defense attorney for Heavy-S stated “The Sweedish have long held a deepseated hatred of all things robotic.  This is just another case of the anti-robot sentiments that plague the Sweedish court system”.  That statement was give shortly after the injured man’s lawsuit against Heavy’s employer awarded the man 25K Kronar.  It was the betrayl of his native country that lead Heavy-S to seek an organization that would allow him to protect the robot agenda.  Which is now why Commander Heavy-S heads my CAU.  The fact of the matter is, once a robot has tasted human blood he craves it.  I’m simply trying to give Heavy an outlet for pain.  Have you told your toaster you love it today?