We all know the October is the best month of the year and is best celebrated with awesome movies.  Considering that Halloween is waiting at  day 31, makes it the SPOOOOOOOKY month.  So what are you gonna watch?  The same old flicks that come on the tele every Halloween?  No!  You should will watch the following for week one (yes I know this is coming a bit late).  To start off we will do the JC run..that’s right John Carpenter.  So your requred watching for this week is:

Big Trouble in Little China

The Thing

Prince of Darkness (alt. They Live, since Prince can be hard to find)

In the Mouth of Madness

It should also be noted that The Thing, Prince of Darkness and In the Mouth of Madness are the three films that compose John Carpenter’s Apocalypse Trilogy, which make them especially good for the season!

(I don’t recommend doing Neave Strobe right before a meeting…)

That’s right 40 year of Awesome.  This Sunday, September 13th, 2009 is the 40th anniversary of Scooby-doo.  I don’t want to hear any haters out there saying the show sucks, that’s how motherfuckers get shot!  The show is full of teh w1n for  at least 2 reasons:

1. Daphne is the HAWTNESS

2. It has provided children with a healthy dose of skepticism, and the idea that things are not always as they appear.  Not everything should be taken at face value and we need to use our brains and keen senses of observation to determine what is true and what is falsehood.

So please join me on Sunday (in spirit if not in person) and get down on watching some Scooby, preferably with Scooby Snax!!!

See, told ya’!  I guess I have to side with SPAM here, we need a new term for spam, I say we go with “Bullshit fake ass e-mails”

end line

Now the giggles don’t end there; if you go to the PDF of the executive package, you’ll find the press release made by the office of the Joint Executive package Development and Integration.  Ahhh, Geeks and funnies are like peanut butter and jelly…  Awesome and Fattening!

1. A respectful depiction of Austrailians

2. Tunak Tunak Tun

3. Why? Because he’s the fucking Walrus!

As we speak Mother Earth is currently waging an all out war on Science.  The Earth of course loves us, and wishes us to keep our feet and minds planted firmly in her fertile soil.  Which is why she is trying desperately to destroy the Hooker Telescope (waiting for giggles to stop…) atop Mt Wilson in Southern California.  What’s so important about this telescope you ask?  Well other than the fact that those things aren’t cheap,  the Hooker 100 inch is the telescope we used when we discovered the Universe was still expanding.  So not only is Hooker still contributing to our understanding of the the Universe, but it has Historical Significance as well!  Although many observatories are designed to be somewhat fire resistant, fire still has a way of destroying stuff.  So keep your fingers crossed!

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and then my asshole started bleeding
needle dick
are you auditioning for the role of helen keller?

it looks like we middle class nerds might have our taxes jacked up by team obama jam. let’s not panic middle america, let’s have a bake sale!

that’s right, i propose that we head to canada, mexico, central america, africa and europe and sell overpriced, wrapped by mom baked/fried goods. you might be thinking to yourself, “what the fuck is this dude thinking?” suck on this knowledge egg:

has an african kid ever seen a rice krispie treat? would he kill for one? probably!

has a european kid ever eaten a deep fried snickers bar? fuck no!

has a  rain forrest child of central america ever had a tollhouse cookie baked by mom? no way jose!

america, we try to sell the world cars they don’t want and other undesirables. let’s give them what we do best: snack cakes, cookies and fried dough.

all proceeds will go towards our national debt

i always thought madd was a solid, good intentioned, advocacy group. plus they always hand out rad pens and stress balls at any college or high school event. however, my opinion has now changed, check out this bullshit:

MADD feels that “The combination of a roadway and advertising for any kind of a beer doesn’t make any kind of sense.”  [Source: Autoblog]

let’s say you are from a small town in ohio with a micro brew that names a beer after the exit number for your town. the exit number for you town is 81-A. you move to washington state, and are shopping in a whole foods. you see a label that says 81-Ale over a background image of the state of ohio. why wouldn’t you buy the beer? maybe you were beat up in high school, idk.

another example. in the metro dc area there is a micro brew named capital city. my favorite beer at capital city is “pale rider ale” and the motto for the beer is “hell on wheels.”  i think that is about 10x worse than the jersey turnpike brew mentioned in the autoblog article cited earlier.  AND! it’s also a mega tasty beer.

basically, if the branding and motto didn’t help sell the beer, then the name of the beer would of obviously been changed by now.

so MADD, a combination of a roadway (even driving) and advertising sell beer, and a business selling a product makes sense.

the end.