Phoenix Magoo

I Sell The Dead (No, that’s not my part-time job…yet)

Filed by DrNecropolis  |  September 3, 2009

Never trust a corpse… The tag line for Glass Eye Pix stunning flick I Sell The Dead, is what slapped me in the face to check out this movie.  Arthur Blake(Dominic Monaghan, Lost) and Willie Grimes(Larry Fessenden also the Producer, Mulberry Street) are professional Grave-robbers who’ve been caught and sentenced to beheading.  On the night prior to Arthur’s execution, he is visited by Father Duffy(Ron Perlman, Hellboy/Chronicles of Riddick/ Many more awesome ass movies) to take his confession.  With the application of a bit o’ whiskey, we soon learn that Arthur’s carrear as a grave robber began at a young age and through the years his profession has led him to many a bizzare encounter.  From Zombies and Vampires to Aliens and Revenge, this movie has just about everything I look for in a great flick.  Due to the theme, one would think that this would be a dark journey through the lives our protagonists, but in actuality it’s a hilarious adventure of the first degree.  I give it 5 out of 5 Zombie Apocalypses, you need to see this film!…You will see this film…

would i eat a panda?

Filed by phoenixMagoo  |  July 10, 2009

the short answer is only hell yes. i didn’t kill the panda.

if said panda is already dead, tenderized, marinated in the finest earth juices, grilled to perfection (btw, grilled to perfection panda is slightly pink in the middle) and put in front of me, then i am going to eat it.

and since said panda is already dead, it wouldn’t really hurt if i had real panda slippers, real panda gloves, and of course a real panda mask.

nazis that are zombies OR zombies that are nazis?

Filed by phoenixMagoo  |  June 30, 2009

just putting this out there for conversation. i just recently saw the movie “dead snow” and i think i have a good question:

what works better for a zombie movie? a nazis zombie OR  a zombie nazis?

personally, i think that a nazis zombie is a bit scarier, however, i would love for someone to present a counter argument…so do your magic interwebs.

Killbot Gives Impudent Human A Well Deserved Thrashing

Filed by DrNecropolis  |  May 19, 2009

June of 2007, the year the Commander of my Cyborg Assault Unit realized his destiny.  I will refer to him as Commander Heavy-S hence forth, so remember it as he may very well be your Regional Overlord one day.  Whilst taking a long deserved Vacation from his job of lifting weighty rocks in Sweeden, Heavy-S was accosted by an assassin who tried to Deactive him.  In an amazing feat of martial prowess, Heavy-S seizerd the man by the head and began to deal with the psychopath as any good machine does.  By smashing the shit out of the guy.  The assassin claims he was there to “Do maintenance” on Heavy-S and failed to completely shut down the unit, but I think we all know what really meant by “maintenance” and “shut down”.  Just ask Johnny 5, the defense attorney for Heavy-S stated “The Sweedish have long held a deepseated hatred of all things robotic.  This is just another case of the anti-robot sentiments that plague the Sweedish court system”.  That statement was give shortly after the injured man’s lawsuit against Heavy’s employer awarded the man 25K Kronar.  It was the betrayl of his native country that lead Heavy-S to seek an organization that would allow him to protect the robot agenda.  Which is now why Commander Heavy-S heads my CAU.  The fact of the matter is, once a robot has tasted human blood he craves it.  I’m simply trying to give Heavy an outlet for pain.  Have you told your toaster you love it today?

i’m a hipster…selling a bicycle

Filed by phoenixMagoo  |  April 29, 2009

Amazing:

1968 made in England Dunelt Three Speed
- 52cm lugged Sheffield Steel frame, 30 inch standover
- Brooks read and white mattress saddle
- sturmey archer 3 speed, front and rear hand brakes
- full chrome fenders, small dent in front fender
- great shape, ready to ride
- headlight does not work but looks cool

Imagine how much cooler this bike would be if the headlight did, in fact, work. It would not only look cool, but serve a purpose. I don’t know, with a working head light you might not run into shit.

However, safety is not a worry of the hipster. It is only a dark force that pushes against their love  of dangerously tight clothing, neon high tops, obscure literature and art, and now….transportation.

the end.